Guess What?!?

A lot has happened in the past year.

For one, I’m no longer in the frigid haven of diners, pork roll, and “The Situation” (out of respect for my former adopted state, I’ve never actually seen an episode of Jersey Shore. You can’t blame me for throwing in a perfectly valid pop culture reference).

Andrew and I are now residing in sunny rainy foggy ungodly hilly San Francisco, California.  Though I’ve only been out here for a few months, I can honestly say that it feels like home. Granted, it’s a little chillier than I would like (at heart I’m an 80 year old woman–ideally I would live in Boca Raton and do crossword puzzles all day), but it does have a ton of redeeming qualities.  The Farmer’s Market at the Ferry Building is simply breathtaking, I love the sourdough almost as much as a good Italian loaf, it’s the home of Chow.com, Alice Waters, Sea Lions, and one of the finest culinary schools in the nation.

Oh, and I’m attending said culinary school.

That’s right, loyal readers, I said I’M GOING TO CULINARY SCHOOL!

I started on January 4 at California Culinary Academy in the Le Cordon Bleu Patisserie and Baking program. I’m just wrapping up my first six week component. In the past few weeks I have made Chocolate Chip Cookies, Almond Biscotti, Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, Blueberry Muffins, Buttermilk Biscuits, Double Chocolate Muffins, Creme Caramel, Creme Brulee,  Creme Anglaise, Apple Pie, Pumpkin Pie, Banana Cream Pie, Raspberry Chiffon Cake with Creme Chantilly, Orange Glazed Genoise with Espresso Buttercream, Cream Puffs, Eclairs, and Profiteroles.

Though it’s a slightly slower production pace than what I normally set for myself, it is admittedly easier to maintain.  I may have missed a few months (8?) of the daily bakelogging, but I plan on picking back up right where I started. Only I’m broadening my horizons! No longer will I restrict myself to the humble cookie–I will be documenting (almost) everything I make in culinary school, with a few of my own creation thrown in there for good measure.

Be warned, the next six weeks may be a little overwhelming/boring/yeasty for most of  you. I’m starting my breads class taught by world renowned chef Michael Kalanty. He recently published a very well received cookbook,  How To Bake Bread: The Five Families of Bread (wink*wink*housewarming gift*nudge*nudge*), and I can not wait to learn all of his tips and tricks and then pass them on to you! After that I move on to Viennoiserie (otherwise known as Danishes), service pastry and plated desserts, cakes, chocolate, and finally sugar work. If you guys keep reading, you’ll receive a world class education at a fraction of the cost (but you don’t get the cool hat)!

So bookmark me, put me back on your RSS feed, do whatever you have to do. Just stay tuned for more updates because the cookie jar is about to become bottomless again.

Red Velvet Cake

Red Velvet Cake:

• 2½ cups (250 grams) sifted cake flour
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons (15 grams) Dutch-processed cocoa powder
• ½ cup (113 grams) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1½ cups (300 grams) granulated white sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup (240 ml) buttermilk
• 2 tablespoons liquid red food coloring
• 1 teaspoon white distilled vinegar
• 1 teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) and place rack in center of oven. Butter two – 9 inch (23 cm) round cake pans and line the bottoms of the pans with parchment paper. Set aside.

In a mixing bowl sift together the flour, salt, and cocoa powder. Set aside.

In bowl of your electric mixer, or with a hand mixer, beat the butter until soft (about 1-2 minutes). Add the sugar and beat until light and fluffy (about 2-3 minutes). Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the vanilla extract and beat until combined

In a measuring cup whisk the buttermilk with the red food coloring. With the mixer on low speed, alternately add the flour mixture and buttermilk, in three additions, beginning and ending with the flour.

In a small cup combine the vinegar and baking soda. Allow the mixture to fizz and then quickly fold into the cake batter.

Working quickly, divide the batter evenly between the two prepared pans and smooth the tops with an offset spatula or the back of a spoon. Bake in the preheated oven for approximately 25 – 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cakes comes out clean. Cool the cakes in their pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Place a wire rack on top of the cake pan and invert, lifting off the pan. Once the cakes have completely cooled, wrap in plastic and place the cake layers in the freezer for at least an hour. (This is done to make filling and frosting the cakes easier.)

Cream Cheese Frosting:

• 1½  (360 ml) cups heavy whipping cream
• 1 – 8 ounce (227 grams) cream cheese, room temperature
• 1 – 8 ounce (227 grams) tub of Mascarpone cheese, room temperature
• ¾ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup (115 grams) confectioners’ (icing or powdered) sugar, sifted 

In your food processor, or with a hand mixer, process the cream cheese and mascarpone cheese until smooth. Add the vanilla and confectioners sugar and process until smooth. Transfer this mixture to a large mixing bowl.

Then, in the bowl of your electric mixer, or with a hand mixer, whip the cream until stiff peaks form. With a large spatula, gently but quickly fold a little of the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture to lighten it. Then fold in the remaining whipped cream, in two stages. If the frosting is not thick enough to spread, cover and place in the refrigerator for an hour, or until it is firm enough to spread.

Assemble: With a serrated knife, cut each cake layer in half, horizontally. You will now have four cake layers. Place one of the cake layers, top of the cake facing down, onto your serving platter. Spread the cake layer with a layer of frosting.  Place another layer of cake on top of the frosting and continue to frost and stack the cake layers. Frost the top and sides of the cake. Can garnish the cake with sweetened or unsweetened coconut

The Comeback Cake

I bet you guys thought you’d never hear from me again. Well, I’m happy to say that this time you were sorely mistaken.  Just like every bloodthirsty supernatural villain in every horror movie ever made, I’m back for another go-round and this time I mean business (don’t worry, I’m not going to go all Freddy vs Jason on you; Julie & Julia is more my style).

I seriously considered abandoning this project all together.  I mean, I did technically fail after all.  But when I went home this past week to bid my Grandma one final farewell, I swear that I met at least half of my 239 loyal readers (oddly enough, you’re almost all related to me in one way or another–coming from a good Catholic family really has its benefits sometimes).  Now that I’ve put faces with the numbers, I can’t just give up.  I’ve been guilted into continuing my bakelogging (again, coming from a good Catholic family has its benefits).

I decided to make my grand re-entrance into the blogosphere in style–no humble drop cookie could possibly do for such a fancy occasion–I needed to bake something with style, flair, and the ability to make a dent in the 5 pound sack of carrots in the bottom of my fridge.  

Behold, loyal readers (the eight of you that are still left, anyway), my comeback cake:

The Comeback Cake

This thing is loaded up with a kajillion pecans, even more shredded carrots, two ultra-thick layers of super-moist crumbly, cinnamony cake, white-chocolate cream cheese frosting, and eight handmade (by me!!) marzipan carrot decorations (that’s right, naysayers and trash-talkers, I do have a few decorating tricks up my sleeve after all. Granted marzipan is easier to work with than play-dough, but I’m still thoroughly impressed with myself–I’ve never worked with marzipan before).

Carrots? No, but there are quite a few underneath the frosting.

Carrot Cake with White Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

Cake: 

• unsalted butter for greasing
• 2 cups sugar
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 4 large eggs, room temperature
• ¾ cup vegetable oil
• 3 cups grated carrots, room temperature (honestly, everything needs to be at room temperature for this to work properly.  Set your mis en place, walk away for half an hour (coffee anyone?), and come back to ingredients that are ready and wiling to be used).
• a few handfuls of toasted chopped pecans (I think I used a cup and half total, one cup for inside the cake, and the extra half a cup for decorating)

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.  Lightly grease 2 8 inch round cake pans.  Line pans with parchment paper.  Regrease and flour.  Set aside.
2. Sift the sugar and salt into a bowl; set aside.
3. In another bowl, sift flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and baking powder together.  Set aside.
4. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the wire whisk attachment, whip the eggs on medium speed, scraping down the bowl with a rubber spatula as needed, until thick, about 3 minutes.  Increase the speed to high and continue whipping until the eggs fall in thick ribbons off the whisk, 4 minutes.  Gradually add the oil while continuing to whip until well-blended.
5. Decrease the speed to medium.  Add the sifted sugar mixture slowly to the whipped egg mixture while continuing to whip until blended.
6. Decrease  the speed to low.  Add the sifted flour mixture  slowly to the egg mixture and mix until just incorporated.  Fold in the carrots and about a cup of the pecans by hand with a rubber spatula.
7. Pour the batter evenly into the prepared pans. Bake for 35-45 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean.  Begin testing at 35 minutes.  Do not over-bake.
8. Cool cakes in pans on wire racks for a few minutes before turning out cakes onto wire racks, tops down. Cool completely before icing and slicing. 

Frosting:

• 8 oz white chocolate
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 8 oz cream cheese, at room temperature
• ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
• pinch salt

1. Chop the chocolate into small pieces (if you use chips you can skip this step!). Melt the chocolate in a double boiler over barely simmering water.  Cool to room temperature.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and cream cheese together until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Scrape down the bowl as needed to blend evenly.
3. Add in the cooled melted chocolate, vanilla extract, and salt; continue to mix until very smooth, 1-2 minutes.
4. Use immediately.  Alternately, transfer icing to an airtight storage container and refrigerate for up to 2 weeks.  Bring icing to room temperature, then re-whip using the paddle attachment before using.  Makes enough to fill and frost one layer cake.

Sand Dollars

Something terrible happened today.

I had a baking accident.

I had just finished prepping my second pan of cookies, and had just placed it aside to move on to the next, when the karmic spirit of unfulfilled bakelogging promises swept down upon me and hurled my beautifully assembled pan of cookies onto my woefully unmopped kitchen floor.  Not a single cookie survived the mystical onslaught from above.

The scene of the crime.

Thankfully, I was able to pick the cookie carnage (and myself) up off the floor and carry on with my baking.

These cookies look like my favorite sea shell, the sand dollar. I used to spend hours combing the beach for those beautiful, if difficult to find shells with my family. These cookies are much easier to procure (and tastier) than an actual sand dollar.

Sand Dollars

Yield: 48 cookies, less if you drop a dozen unbaked cookies on the floor

• 1¼ cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup yellow cornmeal
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 16 tablespoons (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
• ½ cup lightly packed brown sugar
• ¾ cup confectioner’s sugar
• ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup finely crushed almonds

• 1 large egg
• 1 tablespoon water
• 1 cup sliced almonds

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Preheat the oven to 350°F.  Line several baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.
2. Stir flour, cornmeal, and salt together in a small bowl.  Set aside.
3. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter, sugars, and vanilla extract together on medium speed for 2 minutes, or until light and fluffy, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula 2 or 3 times during mixing.  
4. Adjust the mixer to low; pour in the flour mixture and stir until just incorporated, about 30 seconds.  Fold in the crushed almonds.  Divide the dough in half.  Wrap one half in plastic wrap, set aside.
5. Roll out the other half of the dough in between two sheets of plastic wrap to a 1/8 inch thickness.  Cut out cookies with 2 inch round cutter.  Place dough rounds onto prepared baking sheets about an inch apart.  Reroll scraps, cut out more cookies.  Repeat with remaining dough round.
6. Whisk egg and water together in a small bowl. Lightly brush egg wash on to tops of cookies with a pastry brush.  Arrange five almond slices in a flower patter in the center of each cookie.  Brush cookies again with the egg wash.
7. Bake cookies until they are golden brown, about 15 minutes.  Cool completely on baking sheets on wire racks.  Store cookies in an airtight container for 3-4 days.

Coconut Melt-Aways

These delicate coconut crisps melt in your mouth, hence the not so original name.

Coconut Melt-Aways

Yield: 25-30 cookies

• 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon cake flour
• 2 tablespoons plus 1½ teaspoons granulated sugar
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into 8 pieces
• ¼ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• ½ teaspoon pure almond extract
• 1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
• 1 cup powdered sugar, for dusting

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.
2. Place the flour, sugar and salt in the work bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade.  Pulse 5-6 times to blend.
3. Scatter the butter pieces over the top, and drizzle the extracts over the top of that. Process for 30 to 35 seconds, or until dough comes together.  Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl.  Add in the coconut and pulse 7-8 times to blend.
4. Scoop up dough by rounded teaspoons and roll into 2 inch long worms.  Place dough worms onto prepared baking sheets 2 inches apart.  Flatten into ovals with the palm of your hand.
5. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until cookies are light golden and firm.  Cool completely on baking sheets on wire racks.
6. Place powdered sugar in a bowl or plastic bag. Toss cookies one at a time in powdered sugar to coat thoroughly.  Store cookies in layers separated by parchment paper in an airtight container for up to a week.

Thin Crisp Chocochips

These cookies are thin, crisp, and they completely satisfy any chocolate chip craving.  If you use mini-chips instead of regular chips, the cookies will have a delicate, elegant appearance–perfect for serving at a fancy spring-time tea party. 

Thin Crisp Chocochips

Yield: 75 cookies

• 1½ cups all-purpose flour
• ¼ teaspoon baking powder
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 14 tablespoons (1¾ sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1 cup lightly packed brown sugar
• ½ cup granulated sugar
• 1½ teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1 large egg
• 6 ounces (1 cup) semisweet chocolate chips (mini-chips would look sooooo much better in these cookies)

1. Preheat the oven to 400°F. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.
2. Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt together onto a sheet of parchment paper.  Set aside.
3. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter, sugars, and vanilla extract together until light and fluffy, about 1 minute.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula.  Add in the egg; beat well. Adjust the mixer to low; slowly pour in the flour mixture and stir just until incorporated, about 30 seconds.  Fold in the chocolate chips.
4. Drop dough by rounded teaspoons onto prepared baking sheets 2 inches apart.  Flatten the dough into ¼ inch disks with the palm of your hand.
5. Bake the cookies until they are firm and light golden with dark golden edges, about 12 minutes.  Let cookies cool completely on baking sheets on wire racks.  Store in an airtight container for up to a week. 

Easy Coconut Drops

I’m going to a birthday party with margaritas and Spanish dancing!! 

Easy Coconut Drops

Yield: 40ish cookies

• 7 ounces sweetened shredded coconut
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• ½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
• ¾ cup sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 375°F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.
2. Pour the coconut into the work bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade.  Process in one second pulses about 12 times, just until the coconut is chopped up into little bits.  Set aside.
3. Sift flour, baking powder, and salt together onto a sheet of parchment paper.  Set aside.
4. In the bowl of stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter and sugar on medium speed  just until combined, about 30 seconds.  If needed, turn off the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula.  Add in the egg and the vanilla extract; beat until smooth.  Adjust the speed to low.  Slowly stir in the flour mixture, followed by the coconut. 
5. Drop dough by rounded teaspoons onto prepared baking sheets leaving 2 inches or so in between each cookie.  Bake for 10-13 minutes, or until golden around the edges.  Slide entire sheet of parchment or silicone mat onto wire racks to cool completely.

Mother B’s

Frailty, thy name is woman! 

I may not be jumping out of my dead husband’s bed and into his brother’s, but deep down I’m really just as fickle and unreliable as Hamlet’s mom.  I am completely incapable of keeping promises that I make to myself or to others. I’ve been “starting school in a few months” for years now, I never keep in touch with my family although I swear up and down that I’m going to e-mail/call them at least once a week (sorry dearest relatives, I really do mean well), my house is never as clean as I pretend it is (I make piles. Huge, unwieldy piles of stupid useless junk), and I immediately fall off the bakelogging wagon as soon as I hitch a ride.

I think I need a life coach (or just a stronger resolve).

B-t-dubs, I’ve already baked Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s cookies. I just haven’t posted the recipes yet. Prepare yourself, America, for more boozilicous cookies (don’t worry, Mom, these are classy–they’re made with red wine)! 

Mother B’s

Yield: one 9 x 13 x 2 inch pan, about twenty-four  2-inch squares

• 1¾ cups all-purpose flour
• 1½ teaspoons (!!) freshly grated nutmeg
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened (cut into small chunks to speed up softening time if you’re not very good at planning ahead)
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• ½ cup buttermilk or sour milk

1. Set a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat oven to 350°F.  Butter the inside of a 9 x 13 x 2 baking pan.  Line with parchment paper, leaving a 1-inch overhang.  Butter the top of the paper (you may ask, “Is this really necessary?”  Nick Malgieri, baking god, insists upon it. Please don’t question his ways; it’s akin to blasphemy).  Set aside.
2. Sift the flour, nutmeg, baking soda, and salt together onto a sheet of parchment paper.  Set aside.
3. With an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat butter and sugar on medium speed until smooth, about 1 minute.  Add in the egg; beat until smooth.  Reduce mixer speed to low.  Slowly pour in half of the dry ingredients (flour mixture!) and mix until incorporated.  With the mixer running, drizzle in the buttermilk.  At this point, turn off the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula, if needed.  Turn the mixer back to low and slowly pour in the remaining dry ingredients.  
4. Remove the paddle and scrape off any remaining batter (or lick it off like you did when you were a kid).  Stir the batter vigorously with the spatula 3 or 4 times.  Pour the batter into prepared pan, being sure to distribute it evenly and smoothly.
5. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until golden brown and a toothpick (or fancy cake tester!) inserted into the middle comes out clean.  Let cool in pan on wire rack for 10 minutes.  Then, using the paper, lift the cake (I swear at the end of all this it’s a cookie) onto a separate rack to cool completely.
6. To cut into bars, transfer the cookie-cake onto a cutting board.  Remove the paper.  Using a ruler for neatness, cut into 2-inch squares using a large chef’s knife.

Adapted from Cookies Unlimited by Nick Malgieri

Caramel Chocolate Chip Crispy Squares

A recipe such as this is great to have on hand when you’ve frittered away the entire day doing taxes (if you didn’t know by now, I tend to put off doing really big important things by focusing on a motley assortment of meaningless chores–I’ve steam-cleaned the grout in my bathroom instead of writing an essay),checking (and double checking) your credit score, daydreaming about what to do with your “giant” refund, laundry, watching terrible t.v., eating even more terrible sushi (new restaurant has ruined cheap sushi for me) and attempting (and failing) to clean water spots off of the couch (note to self: water doesn’t really work to remove water spots).

These squares kinda taste like a caramel frappucino topped off with a healthy dose of over-processed high fructose corn syrup.  What’s not to love?

Caramel Chocolate Chip Crispy Squares

Yield: 1 pan cut into as many (or as little) squares as you’d like

• non-stick cooking spray for greasing pan and hands
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1 package Caramel-Vanilla Swirl Jet-Puffed Marshmallows
• 5½ cups puffed rice cereal
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Grease 13×9 cake pan with non-stick cooking spray.  Set aside.
2. In a large microwave safe bowl, microwave butter on high for 45 seconds, or until melted.
3. Add in the marshmallows; toss to coat.  Microwave for 1½ minutes, stirring halfway through cooking time. 
4. Stir in the puffed-rice cereal. Fold in the chocolate chips.  Pour mixture into prepared pan. With greased hands press mixture evenly into pan. 
5. Cool completely before cutting into 24 (or 16, 32, 8, or 2…) squares.

Bird’s Nest Cookies

Happy Easter!!!

Bird’s Nest Cookies

Yield: 24 cookies

Bird's Nest Cookie

• 1¼ cups sweetened flaked coconut
• 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
• ½ cup granulated sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• about 60 mini robins eggs (the speckled malted delicious ones you can only find at Easter)

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.  Spread the coconut in an even layer on a rimmed baking sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes, stirring every 2 minutes or so, until golden brown (watch this carefully!! Once coconut takes a turn towards the dark side, it’s ruined forevermore).  Let cool on baking sheet (or if you’re like me and only have the two good baking sheets, transfer the coconut to a pie plate or cake pan).  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone baking sheets.
2. Sift flour, baking soda, and salt together onto a sheet of parchment (y0u can reuse the same sheet almost indefinetely if it’s just for the sifting).  Set aside.
3. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar on medium high speed for 2 minutes, or until light and fluffy.  Add in the egg and vanilla extract; beat well.  Adjust the mixer to low; slowly pour in the flour mixture and stir until just combined.
4. Roll the dough into 1¼ inch balls.  Roll each ball in the toasted coconut (be sure to coat thoroughly).  Place the coconut coated dough balls onto prepared baking sheets, spacing 3 inches apart, twelve balls per sheet.  Press your finger straight down into the middle of the balls for tall high nests, or wiggle it around a little for wide flat nests.
5. Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until golden.  Let cool completely on baking sheets.
6. To serve, place 3 candy eggs in the center of the cookie. I like to match the colors (the blue is the most natural looking), but they look just as cute with a mishmash of colored eggs.