Mother B’s

Frailty, thy name is woman! 

I may not be jumping out of my dead husband’s bed and into his brother’s, but deep down I’m really just as fickle and unreliable as Hamlet’s mom.  I am completely incapable of keeping promises that I make to myself or to others. I’ve been “starting school in a few months” for years now, I never keep in touch with my family although I swear up and down that I’m going to e-mail/call them at least once a week (sorry dearest relatives, I really do mean well), my house is never as clean as I pretend it is (I make piles. Huge, unwieldy piles of stupid useless junk), and I immediately fall off the bakelogging wagon as soon as I hitch a ride.

I think I need a life coach (or just a stronger resolve).

B-t-dubs, I’ve already baked Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s cookies. I just haven’t posted the recipes yet. Prepare yourself, America, for more boozilicous cookies (don’t worry, Mom, these are classy–they’re made with red wine)! 

Mother B’s

Yield: one 9 x 13 x 2 inch pan, about twenty-four  2-inch squares

• 1¾ cups all-purpose flour
• 1½ teaspoons (!!) freshly grated nutmeg
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened (cut into small chunks to speed up softening time if you’re not very good at planning ahead)
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• ½ cup buttermilk or sour milk

1. Set a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat oven to 350°F.  Butter the inside of a 9 x 13 x 2 baking pan.  Line with parchment paper, leaving a 1-inch overhang.  Butter the top of the paper (you may ask, “Is this really necessary?”  Nick Malgieri, baking god, insists upon it. Please don’t question his ways; it’s akin to blasphemy).  Set aside.
2. Sift the flour, nutmeg, baking soda, and salt together onto a sheet of parchment paper.  Set aside.
3. With an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat butter and sugar on medium speed until smooth, about 1 minute.  Add in the egg; beat until smooth.  Reduce mixer speed to low.  Slowly pour in half of the dry ingredients (flour mixture!) and mix until incorporated.  With the mixer running, drizzle in the buttermilk.  At this point, turn off the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula, if needed.  Turn the mixer back to low and slowly pour in the remaining dry ingredients.  
4. Remove the paddle and scrape off any remaining batter (or lick it off like you did when you were a kid).  Stir the batter vigorously with the spatula 3 or 4 times.  Pour the batter into prepared pan, being sure to distribute it evenly and smoothly.
5. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until golden brown and a toothpick (or fancy cake tester!) inserted into the middle comes out clean.  Let cool in pan on wire rack for 10 minutes.  Then, using the paper, lift the cake (I swear at the end of all this it’s a cookie) onto a separate rack to cool completely.
6. To cut into bars, transfer the cookie-cake onto a cutting board.  Remove the paper.  Using a ruler for neatness, cut into 2-inch squares using a large chef’s knife.

Adapted from Cookies Unlimited by Nick Malgieri

Tags: Bar Cookies, Heirloom, Nut-free

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