Caramel Chocolate Chip Crispy Squares

A recipe such as this is great to have on hand when you’ve frittered away the entire day doing taxes (if you didn’t know by now, I tend to put off doing really big important things by focusing on a motley assortment of meaningless chores–I’ve steam-cleaned the grout in my bathroom instead of writing an essay),checking (and double checking) your credit score, daydreaming about what to do with your “giant” refund, laundry, watching terrible t.v., eating even more terrible sushi (new restaurant has ruined cheap sushi for me) and attempting (and failing) to clean water spots off of the couch (note to self: water doesn’t really work to remove water spots).

These squares kinda taste like a caramel frappucino topped off with a healthy dose of over-processed high fructose corn syrup.  What’s not to love?

Caramel Chocolate Chip Crispy Squares

Yield: 1 pan cut into as many (or as little) squares as you’d like

• non-stick cooking spray for greasing pan and hands
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1 package Caramel-Vanilla Swirl Jet-Puffed Marshmallows
• 5½ cups puffed rice cereal
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Grease 13×9 cake pan with non-stick cooking spray.  Set aside.
2. In a large microwave safe bowl, microwave butter on high for 45 seconds, or until melted.
3. Add in the marshmallows; toss to coat.  Microwave for 1½ minutes, stirring halfway through cooking time. 
4. Stir in the puffed-rice cereal. Fold in the chocolate chips.  Pour mixture into prepared pan. With greased hands press mixture evenly into pan. 
5. Cool completely before cutting into 24 (or 16, 32, 8, or 2…) squares.

Syrup-Ready Fluffy Pan Grillers

Syrup-Ready Fluffy Pan Grillers

Syrup-Ready Fluffy Pan Grillers

Yield: 12 

• 1¾ cups whole-wheat or all purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons firmly packed brown sugar
• 1½ cups milk
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil

1. In a medium mixing bowl, stir together flour, baking powder, salt, and brown sugar.  Set aside.
2. In a small mixing bowl, whisk milk, egg, and vegetable oil together until smooth.
3. Dump milk mixture all at once into the flour mixture.  Stir just until moist, about 10 times around the bowl with a wooden spoon (batter will be lumpy).  
4. Melt a small amount of butter in a large skillet set over medium heat. When drops of water thrown onto the skillet dance around, the skillet is hot enough.
5. Pour a ¼ cup of batter onto the pan in a circular shape.  Cook for 1-2 minutes on each side. When bubbles appear in the center of the batter and the edges appear dry, it’s ready to flip.  Repeat with remaining batter.  Serve Syrup-Ready Fluffy Pan Grillers warm with butter, syrup, and bacon. Best eaten in the morning hours.

No-Bake Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

I think that this is the only no bake oatmeal raisin cookie recipe in existence.  And I created it all by myself!!!!

No-Bake Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Yield: 2 dozenish

• 1¾ cup sugar
• 1 stick butter
• ½ cup water or milk
• ½ teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 cups regular or old-fashioned oats
• 1 cup raisins

1. In a medium saucepan set over medium heat bring sugar, butter, water (or milk!), and cinnamon to a rolling boil.  Boil for two minutes.  Stir in the vanilla extract.  Stir in the oats and raisins.
2. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto a sheet of parchment or wax paper.  Let harden for 10 minutes before eating.
3. While cookies are hardening, scrape every last bit of goodness off of the pot.

Gringa’s Sopapillas

Tonight was Taco Night!!! Even though this was a relatively simple taco night (it was just Andrew and I), i.e., no guacamole, rice, chips, margaritas or empanadas, we had to have a themed dessert to go with the meal. 

When you eat at a genuine Tex-Mex restaurant, they usually offer only two or three desserts–pralines, ice cream, or sopapillas.  When I was growing up in Texas there was a restaurant in the next town over called Pancho’s or Nopalita’s or maybe Taquería somethinornother.  The food wasn’t particularly memorable, but the commercials for the restaurant stick in my head until this day.  Every year or so they made a new commercial that always ended with their two girls (and eventually one boy) dressed in their Sunday best smiling and screaming “Sopapillas!!!” at the top of their lungs. (There’s a distinct possibility that the family went to my church and the kids were in the Christmas pageant with me every year-everyone knows everyone in South Texas).  

The enthusiasm they showed for this traditional dessert is not unjustified.  Sopapillas, if done right, are probably the most transcendent of pastries.  Nothing can beat the rustic goodness of freshly fried dough drenched in honey, butter, and cinnamon. Unfortunately, this taco night did not afford me the luxury of making these from scratch.  So I improvised with what I already had on hand–flour tortillas! (My love for good flour tortillas hails back to when I was a toddler–my babysitter would just stick one in my mouth so I would shut up for a few minutes!)  This version isn’t quite the same as the original, but it’s still damn good drenched in butter, honey, and cinnamon sugar.  But then, what isn’t delicious when drenched in butter? 

Gringa’s Sopapillas

Gringa's Sopapillas

Yield: 12 

• ¼ cup (½ stick butter)
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon-sugar, plus extra for dusting
• 3 tortillas, torn into quarters
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1. In a microwave safe bowl, melt  butter on medium power for 45-60 seconds.  Stir honey and cinnamon sugar into melted butter; set aside.
2. In a small skillet (cast iron is perfect for this), heat oil over medium-low heat.  Fry one tortilla triangle at a time until golden brown (15 seconds or less) and quickly flip and do the other side.  (They should puff up, but if they don’t it’s okay). Remove to a plate lined with paper towels.  Repeat with remaining triangles.
3. Remove skillet from heat; drain excess oil into a heatproof vessel (don’t pour it down your drain–it’ll do something terrible) and discard when cool.  Let skillet cool for a few minutes before pouring in butter mixture.  Soak triangles on both sides (not too long or they’ll be super greasy–which is really good, but really bad for you).  Sprinkle with extra cinnamon-sugar.  Let cool for 3 minutes before serving.

Mocha Oatmeal Drops

I thought that the chocolate chips would stay somewhat solid when stirred into the batter.  I was sorely mistaken.  Don’t get me wrong, the cookie does have a very nice mocha flavor, but I was hoping for a mostly coffee flavored cookie with little bits of chocolate sprinkled throughout.   Perhaps this particular flavor combo would be better presented in a classic drop cookie.

On a side note, spell check just crashed in wordpress.  I tend to make a lot of typos–have fun deciphering this recipe without it!!

Mocha Oatmeal Drops

Yield: 24ish cookies

• 2 cups sugar
• 1 stick butter
• 1 tablespoon instant coffee granules
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup hazelnuts, finely ground
• 3 cups old-fashioned oats
• 1 cup chocolate chips

1. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, bring sugar, butter, instant coffee, and milk to a rolling boil.  Boil for 2 minutes, stirring constantly.  Remove from heat.
2. Stir in vanilla extract, hazelnuts, oats, and chocolate chips.  Drop by rounded tablespoons onto parchment paper.  Let cool for 15 minutes before serving.

S’mores

S’mores are cookies!!!! Don’t believe me? Follow this link and eat your humble pie.

I was at a loss as to what to make tonight.  I don’t have any butter, eggs, brown sugar or vanilla extract. That rules out almost any traditional drop cookie. I could probably play around in the kitchen for awhile and eventually come up with something interesting and somewhat exciting, but I really don’t feel like it.  I was in the kitchen for hours yesterday making the best cookies ever.  I deserve a lazy Sunday.  Enjoy your s’mores!!!

S’mores

S'more

• Marshmallows
• Chocolate bar, broken into squares
• Graham Crackers

1. Heat marshmallows over an open flame* until toasty.
2. Put on top of graham cracker.  Top with one piece of chocolate and another graham cracker.
3. Pretend you’re back in the scouts and eat as many as you can.

*  I used a lighter to toast my pile of mini-marshmallows.  In retrospect, it probably wasn’t a very good idea.

My "open flame."

Chocolate Nut Balls

I felt like the most efficient of 1960’s homemakers today.  I used what I had on hand to make a delicious homemade treat in mere minutes, and it’s chock full of corn syrup and booze!! Who could possibly ask for anything more? 

Chocolate Nut Balls

Yield: 3½ dozen balls

• 2½ cups finely crushed vanilla wafers (about 30 home-made, or 60 store-bought)
• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1 cup walnuts, finely crushed
• 2 tablespoons cocoa powder
• ¼ cup light corn syrup
• ¼ cup hazelnut liqueur
• granulated sugar

1. Combine crushed vanilla wafers, powdered sugar, walnuts, and cocoa powder in a large mixing bowl.  Add in the corn syrup; mix well.  Stir in the hazelnut liqueur.  Add in a few drops of water or milk if needed to bring the mixture together.
2. Roll teaspoons of dough into one inch balls.  Roll balls in granulated sugar.
3. Store in an airtight container.

Chocolate Crackle

Today started off badly.  I was rudely awakened by a ginormous seven foot tall Verizon Fios dude at 9:30 in the morning.  You would think that said Fios Dude would have roused me from my slumber by ringing the doorbell or perhaps by knocking on my apartment door.  But no, that’s not how Fios Dude rolls. He woke me up by moving my dresser away from the wall, dropping a few of my cosmetics on to the floor, and by bumping into my bed with his giant 2 foot long drill while I was still sound asleep.  ”How did said Fios Dude get into your bedroom, Sarah?”, you may ask.  Well, my lovely roommate (who, BTW,  just married his ex-girlfriend in Detroit last Thursday–that’s a story best saved for another day) and my oh-so-considerate boyfriend thought that it would be just dandy to let giant scary ghetto fabulous Fios Dude into my private sanctum while I was still burrowed snugly under the covers enjoying the pleasantest of dreams.

It wouldn’t have been so terrible if Fios Dude had left shortly after violating my slumber.  But alas, that was no to be.  Fios Dude proceeded to stay for SIX HOURS!!!! Not only did Fios Dude outlive his welcome in 3A, he brought friends!!! Not one, not two, but three Fios lackeys were in my apartment at any given time this afternoon, debating upon the pros and cons of running a coaxial cable (they still use those???) up the side of my building or over the top.  

Not only was my apartment infiltrated by Fios Dude and his minions for the better part of the day, my newlywed roomie decided that today was the day he was actually going to start using the kitchen, thereby preventing me from baking until nearly midnight.  Could he have decided to start cooking a year ago when he first moved into our humble abode (thereby alloting him cabinet space) instead of ordering takeout every single night? Maybe.  Could he have bought his groceries in the store like a normal human being instead of having them delivered in the midst of an already too hectic day? Probably. Did he take up all of my fridge/cabinet space with his groceries that will probably spoil before he uses them? Definitely.  

Would you like to know the worst part of this entire day?  Fios Dude is coming back bright and early tomorrow morning.

Chocolate Crackle

Yield: A gazillion (more like 20) pieces

• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1 cup rice krispies

1. Line an 8×8 baking dish with aluminum foil.
2. In a medium microwave safe bowl, heat chocolate chips and butter on 70% power for 1-2 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds.  When chocolate is melted and smooth, stir in the rice krispies.  
3. Pour chocolate mixture into prepare pan; smooth with a spatula.  
4. Cover and refrigerate for an hour.  
5. Break into a gazillion pieces.  
6. Eat every bite.

No-Bake Cherry Crisps

If you haven’t noticed by now, I stick to really simple recipes during the week since I work nights at my new job.  It’s just easier to make a no-bake dessert in the few hours I have to myself than to make extravagant sandwich cookies.  But once the weekend rolls around I promise to deliver exquisite time-consuming sugar creations.

Using a mini-food processor (10 dollars at CVS) makes short work of chopping the cherries.  And the easiest way to crush the pecans and chocolate chips is to place them both in a heavy duty Ziploc baggie and have at it with a rolling pin.

No-Bake Cherry Crisps

Yield: 3 dozen

• 1 cup powdered sugar
• 1 cup peanut butter
• ½ cup (1 stick) butter, softened
• 1½ cups crisp rice cereal
• ½ cup maraschino cherries, drained, dried, and chopped
• ½ cup chocolate chips, finely crushed
• ½ cup pecans, finely crushed
• 1-2 cups flaked coconut or crushed almonds

1. Line a 9×13 cake pan or large cookie sheet with parchment paper.  Set aside.
2. Cream sugar, peanut butter, and butter together in a large bowl.  Stir in the cereal, cherries, chocolate chips, and pecans.  Mix well.
3. Scoop out dough by heaping teaspoonfuls and roll in either almonds or coconut.  Place on prepared cake pan.  Cover with plastic wrap before placing in the fridge for an hour to firm up. Store No-Bake Cherry Crisps in the fridge in an air-tight container separated by layers of parchment.

Strawberry Crispy Treats

I was looking through my cabinet for cookie inspiration today, and I found the bag of strawberry  marshmallows that I had bought for valentines day and completely forgotten about.  Oddly enough, I’ve never made rice crispy treats as an adult.  I’ve always considered them a little below my culinary prowess.  But now that I’ve given them a fair chance, they frickin’ rock!! I’m probably going to make these all the time now.  Maybe this summer I’ll throw some sliced strawberries (or other fresh fruits) into the mix.  Would that be overly complicating this famously simple recipe? Feedback on this idea would be really appreciated.

Strawberry Crispy Treats

Yield: 24 squares

Sticky Pink Swamp Monster!

• non-stick cooking spray (for greasing)
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1 bag strawberry flavored marshmallows
• 6 cups puffed-rice cereal

1. Grease 13×9 cake pan with non-stick cooking spray.  Set aside.
2. In a large microwave safe bowl, microwave butter on high for 45 seconds, or until melted.
3. Add in the marshmallows; toss to coat.  Microwave for 1 1/2 minutes, stirring halfway through cooking time. (Be sure to check out how awesome marshmallows look in the  microwave–the puffy goop filled the entire bowl to the brim!!)
4. Stir in the puffed-rice cereal.  Pour mixture into prepared pan. With greased hands (please make sure to spray your hands with the off-brand PAM, or you’ll look like a sticky pink swamp monster) press mixture evenly into pan. 
5. Cool completely before cutting into 24 squares.