Coconut Melt-Aways

These delicate coconut crisps melt in your mouth, hence the not so original name.

Coconut Melt-Aways

Yield: 25-30 cookies

• 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon cake flour
• 2 tablespoons plus 1½ teaspoons granulated sugar
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into 8 pieces
• ¼ teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• ½ teaspoon pure almond extract
• 1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
• 1 cup powdered sugar, for dusting

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.
2. Place the flour, sugar and salt in the work bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade.  Pulse 5-6 times to blend.
3. Scatter the butter pieces over the top, and drizzle the extracts over the top of that. Process for 30 to 35 seconds, or until dough comes together.  Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl.  Add in the coconut and pulse 7-8 times to blend.
4. Scoop up dough by rounded teaspoons and roll into 2 inch long worms.  Place dough worms onto prepared baking sheets 2 inches apart.  Flatten into ovals with the palm of your hand.
5. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until cookies are light golden and firm.  Cool completely on baking sheets on wire racks.
6. Place powdered sugar in a bowl or plastic bag. Toss cookies one at a time in powdered sugar to coat thoroughly.  Store cookies in layers separated by parchment paper in an airtight container for up to a week.

Caramel Chocolate Chip Crispy Squares

A recipe such as this is great to have on hand when you’ve frittered away the entire day doing taxes (if you didn’t know by now, I tend to put off doing really big important things by focusing on a motley assortment of meaningless chores–I’ve steam-cleaned the grout in my bathroom instead of writing an essay),checking (and double checking) your credit score, daydreaming about what to do with your “giant” refund, laundry, watching terrible t.v., eating even more terrible sushi (new restaurant has ruined cheap sushi for me) and attempting (and failing) to clean water spots off of the couch (note to self: water doesn’t really work to remove water spots).

These squares kinda taste like a caramel frappucino topped off with a healthy dose of over-processed high fructose corn syrup.  What’s not to love?

Caramel Chocolate Chip Crispy Squares

Yield: 1 pan cut into as many (or as little) squares as you’d like

• non-stick cooking spray for greasing pan and hands
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1 package Caramel-Vanilla Swirl Jet-Puffed Marshmallows
• 5½ cups puffed rice cereal
• 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Grease 13×9 cake pan with non-stick cooking spray.  Set aside.
2. In a large microwave safe bowl, microwave butter on high for 45 seconds, or until melted.
3. Add in the marshmallows; toss to coat.  Microwave for 1½ minutes, stirring halfway through cooking time. 
4. Stir in the puffed-rice cereal. Fold in the chocolate chips.  Pour mixture into prepared pan. With greased hands press mixture evenly into pan. 
5. Cool completely before cutting into 24 (or 16, 32, 8, or 2…) squares.

Double Peanut Butter Cookies

I made baller cookies on a day that I worked a double!!! It’s honestly really unexpected.  

Double Peanut Butter Cookies

Yield: 2 dozen

• 1½ cups all-purpose flour
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• ½ cup granulated sugar
• ½ cup shortening (Crisco is the only shortening you should even consider using when baking–off-brands make off cookies)
• ½ cup peanut butter, plus extra for filling
• ¼ cup light corn syrup
• 1 tablespoon milk

1. In the work bowl of a stand mixer, sift flour, baking soda, and salt together.  Add in the sugar.  Using the paddle attachment and with the mixer running on low, cut in the shortening and the peanut butter until the mixture resembles a coarse meal, about 2 minutes. 
2. Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula.  Add in the corn syrup (spray your measuring cup with non-stick cooking spray to help the syrup slide out easier) and the milk.   Beat on medium speed until dough comes together, about 1-2 minutes.
3. Turn out dough onto a piece of parchment paper.  Gather all the crumbs and compress into a  12 x 2 inch log.  Fold the parchment over and around the log and roll the covered log back and forth on the counter-top until the log is a smooth, even, firmly compressed cylinder.  Wrap the dough cylinder up  in the parchment paper like a deli sandwich. Secure with sticky tape (good luck with this–parchment is non-stick for a reason). Place wrapped dough in the fridge for 30 minutes..
4. Preheat oven to 350°. Line baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.
5. Cut dough into ¼ slices.  Place half of the slices onto prepared baking sheets 2 inches apart.  Put a scant ½ teaspoon of peanut butter in the center of each slice.  Top with remaining slices.  Seal the edges of each cookie with the tines of a fork.
6. Bake for 11-13 minutes, or until just golden around the edges.  Let rest on pans for 5 minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

Blackberry Cereal Bars

FAILFAILFAILFAILFAIL!!!

These didn’t turn out quite the way I had planned.  They’re too soggy and I have no idea how to fix it.

Blackberry Cereal Bars

Yield: 16 bars

• 1 can (14 fl oz) sweetened condensed milk
• 2 pints fresh blackberries (about 3 cups)
• 4 cups rice krispies

1. Preheat oven to 250°F. Line a 9 x 13 baking pan with aluminum foil.  Spray lined pan with non-stick cooking spray.
2. In a small saucpan, warm sweetened condensed milk  over very low heat for 5-7 minutes, or until thin and easily pourable.
3. In a large mixing bowl, stir blackberries and rice krispies together.  Fold in the warmed sweetened condensed milk; stir with a silicone spatula until cereal and berries are thoroughly coated in the sticky milk and the entire mixture starts to turn purple.
4. Spread mixture evenly into prepared pan.  Bake for 1 hour, or until dry and crispy looking.  Let cool completely in pan on wire rack before cutting.

Lemon-Thyme Cookies

I’m really sick, and I think it’s just going to get worse. 

Blarg.

Lemon-Thyme Cookies

Lemon-Thyme Cookies

Yield: 36 cookies

• ½ cup butter, softened
• ¼ cup granulated sugar
• 1 tablespoon snipped fresh thyme
• 2 teaspoons finely grated lemon zest
• 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
• ¼ teaspoon ground cardamom
• 1¼ cups all-purpose flour
• sanding sugar or granulated sugar

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream the butter on medium-high speed for 30 seconds, or until fluffy.  Add in the sugar, and continue to cream until thoroughly combined, about 1 minute.  Add in the fresh thyme, lemon zest, and lemon juice; beat until smooth, about 2 minutes.  Adjust the mixer to low; slowly stir in the flour until just combined.  
3. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured work surface.  Knead dough until smooth, elastic, and no longer sticky, working in a bit more flour as needed.  This will take about 3 minutes of moderately vigorous kneading.  Divide dough into thirds.
4. Working with one third of the dough at a time, roll out dough into a 6 x 4½ inch rectangle.  Using a fluted pastry wheel, cut out 12 1½ inch squares from the dough rectangle.  Place the squares on prepared baking sheets, leaving about 1 inch of space in between. Lightly dust cookies with sanding sugar (or granulated-whatever you have on hand will work).  
5. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until edges are just golden.  Let cookies rest on baking sheets for 5 minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

Recipe adapted from Better Homes and Gardens

Nancy’s Brown Butter Buttons

I got a new cookbook!!! 

It’s the most beautiful baking book I’ve seen in a very long time.  The pages are thick and glossy, the recipes mouthwatering, and it’s nominated for a James Beard Foundation Award for best cookbook in the baking category!  I have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot of recipes inspired by/adapted from/straight up ganked from this book.  I hope to learn a lot from Ms. Braker and her fantastic collection of  recipes. 

The first recipe I tried didn’t dissapoint.  These cookies are luxuriously-crumbly-melt-in-your-mouth delicous.  They’re not the prettiest thing to look at, but you won’t care as soon as you take your first bite.

Nancy’s Brown Butter Buttons

Nancy's Brown Butter Buttons

Yield: 3½ dozen cookies

• 1 cup  (2 sticks) unsalted butter
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup granulated sugar

1. Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350°F.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a silicone liner.
2. Melt the butter in a heavy 1½ quart saucepan over medium-low heat and heat just until it begins to turn a delicate brown, about 8 minutes.  Remove from the heat and pour into a medium bowl.  Set the butter aside to cool slightly, about 15 minutes.  Meanwhile, sift together the flour and baking soda onto a piece of parchment paper; set aside.
3. Add the vanilla to the butter, and then stir in half of the sugar, blending well before adding the remaining sugar.  Add the flour mixture in two additions, blending well after each addition.  Set the mixture aside for 10 minutes to allow the flour to absorb the ingredients.
4. To shape each cookie, measure about 1½ teaspoons of the dough, or scoop up the dough with an ice cream scoop about 1¼ inches in diameter (#70).  Work the crumbly dough between your palms to form cohesive balls, and place on the prepared baking sheet, spacing about ½ inch apart.  
5. Bake the cookies until they puff up, crack a bit on top, and are golden on the bottom, 15-18 minutes.  Transfer the baking sheet to a wire rack and let the cookies cool on the pan for about 5 minutes.  Using a metal spatula, transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.

Recipe adapted from Flo Braker’s Baking for All Occasions

No-Bake Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

I think that this is the only no bake oatmeal raisin cookie recipe in existence.  And I created it all by myself!!!!

No-Bake Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Yield: 2 dozenish

• 1¾ cup sugar
• 1 stick butter
• ½ cup water or milk
• ½ teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 cups regular or old-fashioned oats
• 1 cup raisins

1. In a medium saucepan set over medium heat bring sugar, butter, water (or milk!), and cinnamon to a rolling boil.  Boil for two minutes.  Stir in the vanilla extract.  Stir in the oats and raisins.
2. Drop by rounded tablespoons onto a sheet of parchment or wax paper.  Let harden for 10 minutes before eating.
3. While cookies are hardening, scrape every last bit of goodness off of the pot.

The Abomination

What new terror have I unleashed upon the world???

I swear, I wasn’t intending to create this monstrosity. I was just looking for an easy thing to throw together after a taxing day of jeans shopping for Andrew (we eventually found a pair that fit just right–it only sucked four precious hours from my life).  

I’ve been reading some old kitschy cookbooks from the 60’s, and a few recipes make reference to chow mein noodles in the ingredients.  I haven’t seen that particular food product in ages; not since my mom threw out the half-empty can that had been sitting in the back of our fridge for 5 years.  But we do have plenty of ramen noodles laying around that are never going to be eaten (Andrew doesn’t have to fend for himself anymore–I can cook!). 

Something came over me while I was in the kitchen (I think Sandra Lee took posession of my soul). I somehow thought that by combining this hodgepodge of ingredients that the end result would be better than the sum of its parts.  

I was wrong.

Terribly, terribly wrong.

The Abomination

The Ingredients

Yield: One 8×8 pan of terror

• 1 can sweetened condensed milk
• 3 packages ramen noodles, finely crushed (Don’t use the seasoning packet–this thing is scary enough)
• 1 cup m&ms mini baking bits
• 1 cup mini marshmallows

1. Preheat oven to 250°F.  Spray an 8×8 baking pan with non stick cooking spray.
2. Warm the sweetened condensed milk over low heat.
3. Combine the ramen noodle bits, m&m minis, and the marshmallows in a large mixing bowl.  Add the sweetened condensed milk and mix thoroughly.
4. Pour the whole mess into prepared pan.  Smooth with the back of a spatula.  Bake for 45 minutes to an hour, or until set.  Let cool completely in pan on wire rack before cutting.
5. Abandon all hope of passing this off as a cookie.

Gringa’s Sopapillas

Tonight was Taco Night!!! Even though this was a relatively simple taco night (it was just Andrew and I), i.e., no guacamole, rice, chips, margaritas or empanadas, we had to have a themed dessert to go with the meal. 

When you eat at a genuine Tex-Mex restaurant, they usually offer only two or three desserts–pralines, ice cream, or sopapillas.  When I was growing up in Texas there was a restaurant in the next town over called Pancho’s or Nopalita’s or maybe Taquería somethinornother.  The food wasn’t particularly memorable, but the commercials for the restaurant stick in my head until this day.  Every year or so they made a new commercial that always ended with their two girls (and eventually one boy) dressed in their Sunday best smiling and screaming “Sopapillas!!!” at the top of their lungs. (There’s a distinct possibility that the family went to my church and the kids were in the Christmas pageant with me every year-everyone knows everyone in South Texas).  

The enthusiasm they showed for this traditional dessert is not unjustified.  Sopapillas, if done right, are probably the most transcendent of pastries.  Nothing can beat the rustic goodness of freshly fried dough drenched in honey, butter, and cinnamon. Unfortunately, this taco night did not afford me the luxury of making these from scratch.  So I improvised with what I already had on hand–flour tortillas! (My love for good flour tortillas hails back to when I was a toddler–my babysitter would just stick one in my mouth so I would shut up for a few minutes!)  This version isn’t quite the same as the original, but it’s still damn good drenched in butter, honey, and cinnamon sugar.  But then, what isn’t delicious when drenched in butter? 

Gringa’s Sopapillas

Gringa's Sopapillas

Yield: 12 

• ¼ cup (½ stick butter)
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon-sugar, plus extra for dusting
• 3 tortillas, torn into quarters
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1. In a microwave safe bowl, melt  butter on medium power for 45-60 seconds.  Stir honey and cinnamon sugar into melted butter; set aside.
2. In a small skillet (cast iron is perfect for this), heat oil over medium-low heat.  Fry one tortilla triangle at a time until golden brown (15 seconds or less) and quickly flip and do the other side.  (They should puff up, but if they don’t it’s okay). Remove to a plate lined with paper towels.  Repeat with remaining triangles.
3. Remove skillet from heat; drain excess oil into a heatproof vessel (don’t pour it down your drain–it’ll do something terrible) and discard when cool.  Let skillet cool for a few minutes before pouring in butter mixture.  Soak triangles on both sides (not too long or they’ll be super greasy–which is really good, but really bad for you).  Sprinkle with extra cinnamon-sugar.  Let cool for 3 minutes before serving.

S’mores

S’mores are cookies!!!! Don’t believe me? Follow this link and eat your humble pie.

I was at a loss as to what to make tonight.  I don’t have any butter, eggs, brown sugar or vanilla extract. That rules out almost any traditional drop cookie. I could probably play around in the kitchen for awhile and eventually come up with something interesting and somewhat exciting, but I really don’t feel like it.  I was in the kitchen for hours yesterday making the best cookies ever.  I deserve a lazy Sunday.  Enjoy your s’mores!!!

S’mores

S'more

• Marshmallows
• Chocolate bar, broken into squares
• Graham Crackers

1. Heat marshmallows over an open flame* until toasty.
2. Put on top of graham cracker.  Top with one piece of chocolate and another graham cracker.
3. Pretend you’re back in the scouts and eat as many as you can.

*  I used a lighter to toast my pile of mini-marshmallows.  In retrospect, it probably wasn’t a very good idea.

My "open flame."